A Seasonal Request

There’s snow on the roof but it doesn’t mean the boiler has gone out ~ Anon

This is probably my most requested monologue and is the simple tale of a middle-aged sad bloke who writes a letter to Santa in the hope of getting a woman. Not much more I can say really, except perhaps that just because it’s written in the first person doesn’t mean any of it is true. Well OK then, the bit about the suspenders is true. And the bit about the big baggy Y-Fronts. But everything else………

Dinner Ladies Go Dutch

I picked a lemon in the garden of love, where I thought only roses bloom ~ M E Rourke

I once heard a poem called ‘Dance of the Dinner Ladies’ read in a pub and I remember making a mental note to write summat about the tireless ladies of my youth who slopped up the overcooked cabbage and carrots. However, when I finally got down to it the thing turned out to be completely different from the original notion. Thanks go to Mike Dempsey for providing the idea for the ending.