Birth of a Plastic Pub

Dave Duton

First, they tore out the original oak beams
And slapped in olde plastic facsimiles.
Then they rooted out the jovial, red-faced, shire-horse of a landlord,
And replaced him with a surly glove-puppet with a carved-in snarl.
Then they flushed out all the good, strong, draught ale down into the sewers,
And piped in what had previously been in the sewers.
They booted out the old concertina man
And installed a head-throbbing jukebox
(To stop people talking about what was happening).
This forced out all the customers with any character
And in their place, came.....
Well; suffice it to say that one night
A member of the new clientele stood too near a lamp
And melted.

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