Modern Gadgets

Frank Halliwell

A cowboy from the Texas plains,
..East of the great divide
Inherited some money when
His rich old uncle died.

After weeks of celebration
And a big West Texas feast,
He packed the wife and all his kids
On a stagecoach headed east..

'Cause he'd heard about the cities
Where they never dim the lights
And he reckoned that he'd take his kin
To see those wondrous sights!

They had to change at Little Rock,
Where ol' Tex got the word
That the new stagecoach was silver,
And it flew just like a bird!

So they flew on into Kennedy
Just gettin' on for dark,
And as all tourists have to,
They got mugged in Central Park!

They saw so many wonders
In this new world they had found:
They travelled on a subway train
Way down under the ground!

They had their supper that night
In a big five star hotel,
And Tex went to the lobby
To set and rest a spell.

The place was packed with people
with functions here and there
An old folk's seminar was on..
..And a fashion show upstairs!

Two massive doors slid open
On the far side of the hall
In stepped an ancient lady
In an old and tattered shawl.

The doors slammed shut, the air was filled
With high pitched humming whine
Above the door a counter climbed
From "G" to forty-nine!

A moment passed, then numbers came
Back down again to "G"..
An apparition stepped out
That was all ol' Tex could see!

She wore a tiny mini-skirt
With legs right up to here..
..A tall and stately red-head,
He couldn't help but leer..

Another old girl went through
Into the room beyond,
A few short minutes later,
Out stepped a stunning blonde.

Tex reckoned that he'd seen enough.
This modern stuff was fun!
He leaned across the table,
And he whispered to his son..

"That aeroplane was okay,
But THIS gadget works real slick..
Rush back into the dining room,
And fetch your mother, quick!"

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