There was a young plumber of Leigh
Who was plumbing a maid by the sea
Said the maid 'Cease your plumbing:
I think someone's coming!'
Said the plumber, still plumbing, 'It's me!'

~~~~~

There was an old fellow of Tyre
Who constantly sat on the fire
When asked, 'Are you hot?'
He said, 'Certainly not,
I'm James Winterbottom, Esquire.'

~~~~~

A young man with passions quite gingery
Tore a hole in his big sister's lingerie;
He slapped her behind
And then made up his mind
To add incest to insult and injury.

~~~~~

There was a young lady of Chester
Who once fell in love with a jester.
Though her breath came out hotly
At the sight of his motley,
It was really his wand that impressed her

~~~~~

A Scots sailor, name of McPhie
Who spoonerised to a degree,
Once shouted, 'A wanker!'
Instead of, 'Weight anchor!'
And spoke of himself as 'PhcMie'.

~~~~~

There once was a monk of Camyre
Who was seized with a carnal desire,
And the primary cause
Was the abbess's drawers
Which were hung up to dry by the fire.

~~~~~

A loving young couple from Aberystwyth
United the things that they kystwyth.
But as they grew older
They also grew bolder,
And united the things that they pystwyth

~~~~~

There was an old Scot called McTavish
Who attempted an anthopoid ravish.
But the object of rape
Was the wrong sex of ape,
And the anthropoid ravished McTavish.

~~~~~

Said a man to his spouse in East Sydenham
'My trousers! Now where have you hydenham?
It is perfectly true
They were not very new;
But I foolishly left half a quydenham

~~~~~

A lisping young lady called Beth
Was saved from a fate worse than death
Seven times in a row,
Which unsettled her so
That she stopped saying 'No' and said 'Yeth.'

~~~~~